Schooling Past, Schooling Present, Schooling Future

Schooling Past:

Kindergarten to about third grade were some pretty great years. These are the years when all kids are friends, all kids are invited to the parties, there were playdates, those dreadful cliques have not yet emerged. As the parents, we could definately see the glaring differences (espcially in the social skills/making friends area) but are so lucky that his peers had yet noticed these differences. Not only were these years of social skills classes but were also years saturated with OT, PT and classes with handwriting specialists.

Schooling Present (well a little past and a little present):

Fourth to seventh grade went pretty much down hill. (I do have to say I am seeing some light at the end of the tunnel as we continue through eigth)The cliques have emerged. If you are different, not interested in the same things, you might as well hang it up to dry. My son did have some of the same interests... the earlier of these years a huge Star Wars fan...so he could talk for hours about that. More recently a huge NASCAR and college football fan. Kids did start to keep their distance and the phone pretty much stopped ringing for playdates and birthday parties. (there were a few randomly thrown in but were increasingly less and less) Fourth and fifth grade the social skills, OT and PT continued but with the move to another state they were not continued for sixth and seventh and eighth. I am not so sure this was a bad thing. I think we have ran the course with these services and were not really no longer needed. I do however see that the older my aspie gets it seems the less services are available. Now in eight grade he is involved in CBI's. Evey two weeks he goes out with other Aspies in the community for lunch and do and see different things. This helps him with social skills and how to interact with others in the public.

Schooling Future:

Next fall starts high school. I don't think this will be a huge transistion for John as he will be at the same school and have the same teachers. He will just be in the next grade. John loves, loves, LOVES sports. I really don't know where he gets it. I hate sports and the hubby can really take it or leave it but somewhere along the line he caught the sports bug. He talks about wanting to do something related to sports in college. As far as high school, I am hoping we go back to a more mellow experience. I am just so thankful for how far we have come and where we are going. We have had some huge bumps, U-turns, and dead end streets on this road but we always just kept John's best interest as our number one concern. Sometimes that meant changing things, trying new things, and really just pinching pennies so that we could provide certain needed services that have proved to make him a better kid today.

Taking a U-Turn

I love blogging and it is something I think I will do the rest of my life. Sometimes I am motivated to blog everyday. Sometimes I am lucky to get something in print once a week but one thing is for sure - I am ready to change the focus of my blog.

My son is now 14 years old and next fall will officially be a high school freshman. I have spent many years focusing on his "child years". These issues are still extremely important for sure, but how to make a macaronni artwork in no longer relevant as to where we currently are on our walk down this road of life.

I am ready to take my focus to Asperger's and the high school years and beyond.

I am very fortunate to have the cooperation of the local school district in offering services even though I have opted to keep my son in his private school setting. Some of the things his IEP focuses on from now until graduation is transition. Trasition as in...what do you want to do after high school. What do you want to be? How do you plan to meet those goals. What are you doing right now to work towards that goal. In addition to that they also work with him on basic life skills. Such as budgeting. Balancing a check book, etc...

These are all things we have discussed as a family but it is so nice to have that extra layer of support in helping with these goals. It is amazing that my son is now in 8th grade. Just seems like yesterday that he started kindergarten, so I know the next four years are going to just fly by. The time to start preparing has come.

How Do You Keep Your Kid Motivated?

Here we go again. My son's grades are like a teeter-totter. He brings home a bad progress report card, he loses TV, video games, computer until he gets his grades up on his report card which is approximately 6 weeks. He brings home a good report card and gets those things back and this once again goes back to neglecting his school work. I even have a 1 hour homework rule where he has to sit at the table Mon-Fri for one hour and do homework. If he has no assignments he has to study. I thought this would fix the problem but hasn't.

I really feel bad because he was going to spend the night at a friends house tonight (which honestly, does not happen very often at all) and now he will not get to because after getting an email from his teacher yesterday saying that she couldn't tell me his current grade because he had an assignment due Wednesday that was not turned in Wed or Thurday she could not give me his grade. I asked Johnathon about it and he claims it is done in his locker but he just didn't get it turned in and will today (Friday). The hubby asked him...what if your teacher won't let you turn it in and you get a zero? Then J says..oh she will I will just get less points for it. What?!? Your grade is already on the brink of an F and you have an opportunity to bring that grade up and yet don't get simple homework assignments in on time to help that grade.

I don't know what to do. It makes me want to pull my hair out.

I am not one of those parents that expects all A's. Honestly, I do not believe my son is capable of all A's. All that I ask for is to see a sincere effort on his part and to do the best he can. If that is B's and C's...I am thrilled. But I do know that an F is not doing the best he can.

His school web site has a homework page for each teacher which I have tried to stay on top up but it is never up to date. It is always a week or two behind. (One class is actually still dated for homework from October) So to check that is useless. I have no where to check to see that homework is done when it should be done. At 14 years of age I shouldn't have to, but if they are going to have this on their web site they should keep it up to date.

His first progress report really came as a shock because on the first day of school he brought home a sheet to fill out where we could give our email address if we would like to be emailed if our kid did not turn in his assignments. I never received any emails and was thinking "wow my son is on top of things this year" only to have that thought shattered when I received his first progress report of the year stating missing assignments. How was I to know though? I was expecting to be notified when things were not turned in. Needless to say that fell to the wayside and never got off the ground.

My biggest concern with his grades is he just doesn't care. His work/homework ethic is...so what..who cares...do the absolute least I can get by with doing with the least effort involved so I can eek by and not lose TV/video games/computer (which quite honestly is his best friend). He keeps saying he wants to go to WVU. Which if he can get the grades to get in there we will be happy to send him there. And we keep telling him grades are important for any college or any career path he may choose.

Ahhh, wonderful aspergers. It is truly quite the roller coaster ride. Those with teens and tweens know exactly what I am saying. Those with little ones in the early days of school thinking.."This isn't as bad as I thought." All I can say it buckle up...let them get just a little older...the ride is about to begin.

5 Minutes For Mom - Great Christmas Giveaways

5 Minutes For Mom is giving away a lot of nice gifts this Christmas. Be sure to check out their site for the details.

They have a great site where you can search for blogs from other women and moms on topics that are of interest to you.

Hope everyone has a great week.

Turkey Hangover

My family left yesterday and now I am just trying to clean up and get my house reorganized before bringing out the Christmas decorations. I really enjoyed seeing everyone. Friday night we went to the Lights on the Lake at Lakemont Park in Altoona and drove through that. We've been before but our family that was here visiting had not and they really enjoyed it.

I'm so stuffed. I feel like I am the turkey!!! I keep watching Biggest Loser waiting to get just a little morsel of their inspiration to get off my butt and get moving but I just can't seem to stick with it:(

I do enjoy Christmas but I do have to say that it is not my favorite holliday by far. It has became too materialistic almost to the point of being turned off. (Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that we are able to provide a nice Christmas for our family but every year it is just becoming more and more about who can give and get the bigger and better things and less about the true meaning behind Christmas.) I just hope we do enough in teaching our son what Christmas is really suppose to be about.

I don't know if anyone has stopped by And Miles To Go Before I Sleep's blog. She has a wonderful blog and one of the several I read regularly. She is Jewish and I really enjoy reading her posts when she includes some Hebrew and Jewish traditions. As a Christian, I really appreciate our Jewish roots and think about them even more so this time of year. I know Jesus was Jewish, he is our example, and he celebrated Hanukkah...so why don't we?

Hope everyone had a blessed Happy Thanksgiving. And I guess from now until January...let the madness begin.

In All Things Give Thanks

The second half of 2009 will be remembered as a chapter of sadness in the pages of my life.

My mother-in-law passed away in September. Yesterday we attended the viewing of the 4 year old daughter of one of the hubby's coworkers. She passed away from swine flu. It was hard losing my mother-on-law but I can not even begin the fathom the pain of burying your own child. No one should ever have to do that. She was beautiful, she looked like a little baby doll...holding her Dora the Explorer doll.

It really brings out the why's in life. I think no matter your faith and religous beliefs there are just some things that seem to have no answer and you just have to trust God and accept that. Even though we don't understand, God always has a plan.

Thanksgiving is next week and we have some family coming up for the week. While trying to plan for that, it makes me think about the things I am thankful for. No matter what comes our way in life we all have so much to give thanks for.

I am thankful I am fat...yes, I did say fat. It means we do not know the pangs of starvation.

I am thankful we are able to pay our bills. I may not have everything I want but we always have everything we need.

I am thankful for my son. Just exactly as he is.(I think it is really touching my heart of them losing their 4 year old daughter because Johnathon was 4 when he had his brain tumor and 2 surgeries, and if things did not go as well as they did, that could of been us)

I am thankful for a wonderful husband. How many people can say they are married to their best friend!

I am thankful for all of my extended family and friends near and far.

I am thankful for my eyes so that I can see. Even if I am seeing dirty dishes in the sink that need washed:)

I am thankful for my ears so that I can hear.

I am thankful for my legs so that I can walk.

I am thankful for the freedoms of living in America.

I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and the rest of the holliday season. 2010 is just around the corner. Not sure what 2010 holds... but I do know who holds 2010.

2 Weeks Worth of Blog Crammed Into One

Everyone probably thought I went MIA. But I have had a really busy two weeks. First off I started a new part-time job with a local dentist office. It is just 2-4 days a week and I love it. It is nice to get out around other people and make a few bucks. Just trying to get reorganized with the slight change in routine.

I have also been sick. It started as sinuses and went to wheezing, coughing and crackling lungs. The doctor gave me an inhaler and is sending me for lung tests. I have never smoked or had lung problems so I really don't think anything big will be found. I just think it is something that will pass.

School is going great for Johnathon. We had a few more minor issues but was enough for Rob (the hubby) to leave work and go up to the school in person. He told the administator they have a week to fix the problem. (bullying/teasing) or he was going to fix it and would want to be meeting with the other boys parents. Needless to say we have had no problems since and all seems well:) There is just something to be said for Dad showing up at school, I guess they get use to all the Moms complaining but it shines in a whole new light when Dad shows up.

I am liking the weekly meetings with the autism support teacher at his school too. She comes to his school and works one on one with him. I think we have a good fit but I guess only time will tell.

We have new neighbors in the field beside us...alpacas. Our neighbors on the other side of the field bought 3 adult and two baby ones and they are just too cute.

And finally there was a sad news story last night. A 13 year old girl in a local school district hung herself at her home. The news started out with the story that she was teased at school and even her friends claimed she was. The story was quickly pulled. The district denies bullying because they have a "no bullying policy". The story suddenly disappeared. I can't help but think the district pressured the news to pull away from the story. That really makes me sad. Unfortunately I think a lot of teachers look the other way and allow this to go on. Kids can be really mean.